Are you a small town, misunderstood (maybe a little judgey) farmer who owns a pumpkin patch that is in desperate need of a marketing makeover in order to stay afloat in this economy? Are you a business woman who just had her heart broken and is seeking refuge in a quaint B&B that has wifi, a starbucks, and access to all of the marketing equipment and full person crew so that you could save a small business from getting gutted by leading big box corporation? Then you are a f***ing Hallmark movie addict. So why not commemorate the countless hours of binge watching the dude who looks like discount Uncle Jessie and his "made for TV", knockoff, female prototype as they both pretend that the movie plot isn't utter crap (that's where the real performance is) and hasn't been repeated at least 850 times by at least 20 other actors that they keep recycling and that make you wonder " was that the girl who refilled the snow globes or was that the one who broke the snow curse last year"? Nobody knows, but you know, you sly fox, because you have been binging on this crap for years in an attempt to try to fill the pot hole in your heart with material similar to homemade slime. It will get better, I promise.
So 22k on the handle, pale blue interior and exterior and this baby comes in either 22k yellow gold or 22k white gold. Either way, use it as a trophy for Hallmark movie trivia night, to drown your sorrows while contemplating your life choices (I do this often while staring out of my sliding door with a perfectly placed scarf, beach waves in my hair, a twinkle in my eye, and a chunky cardy, or simply to enjoy trying to drowning yourself in the shallow well of this mug because you realize that no one is going to look at you the way that Uncle Jesse looks at those pumpkins. Also if you try to brain yourself with this mug because you have failed at trying to drown in 5 inches of water, you will find that this material is fine quality porcelain and with the pattern being under the glaze, you could whack yourself several times and go nighty night and the mug will still look amazing when you regain consciousness.
So no microwave for either of these mugs. Gold is gold and it is not going to show your microwave love similar to how the big box villian f***ing hates pumpkins...and small towns...and farmers...and Christmas.
*Although I shouldn't have to put a warning label on Hallmark movies, you should limit yourself to no more than one a day so that you do not lose the will to live and so that you do not try to harm yourself with one of my mugs. If you find yourself watching more than one in a single sitting, put a candy cane in both your ears, fill a bathtub or kid pool with eggnog and submerge yourself in the healing goo and you will lift the snow curse and live an "ok" life.
